Dan Pascariu's Blog “THE CHAIRMAN’S PLAYBOOK’’

“It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” — George Eliot

When I talk with students about success, one of the most common questions I hear is: “How do I find my vocation?” The answer is both simple and challenging: to find our vocation, we must discover who we truly are. That means listening to our intuition about our identity — and daring to follow it. Yet most people never do.

The Weight of Expectations

As we grow, our authentic selves often become buried under the expectations of family, friends, teachers, and society. Instead of following our inner voice, we conform to what brings approval, security, or status.

Parents may push us toward stable, trendy, or lucrative careers. But those paths rarely align with our natural gifts, skills, and passions. Even in loving families, the desire to please others can keep us from choosing freely.

Finding a vocation does not mean rejecting our families or mentors. But it does mean critically examining the expectations placed on us — and asking whether they fit us. Without this discernment, we risk living someone else’s life instead of our own.

Three Practices for Discovering Our Vocation

1. Discernment Over Influence

Admiration can become imitation. We see a successful person — a leader, a teacher, a parent — and believe the safest path is to copy them. But imitation often leads us astray. What worked for them may not work for us. Discernment means separating the wisdom in their advice from the weight of their influence.

2. Deep Self-Awareness and Honest Evaluation

Self-discovery requires honesty and discipline. Today’s world is filled with noise — social media, peer pressure, endless comparisons. These distractions make it harder to hear our inner voice. Honest evaluation means asking not only what we’re good at, but also what energizes us, what gives us joy, and what drains us.

3. Look Within, Not Just Around

Our vocation is not a prize waiting to be handed to us. It is a path we must walk. That path will not always be straight. There will be doubts, delays, and detours. But complexity does not mean we are lost — it may mean we are finally moving in the right direction. To look within is to trust that our talents, even if hidden, can guide us toward meaningful work.

Don’t Fall for These Seven Vocation Myths

❌ Myth #1: There’s only one perfect job for me.

This is like saying there’s only one soulmate in the entire world. Believing this causes unnecessary worry and hesitation.

Just as there are many people you could love, many roles could become your calling.

❌ Myth #2: A calling is a single, life-defining event.

We love the idea of an “aha moment” — a sudden flash of clarity when everything falls into place. Hollywood loves it too.

The truth is that most callings unfold gradually. You don’t stumble upon your life’s work like a treasure chest; you carve it out bit by bit through choices, feedback, and experience.

❌ Myth #3: Your calling never changes.

Another illusion is that once we find our calling, we must follow it unchanged for life.

But calling, like character, evolves. What felt right at 30 may feel constraining at 50.

❌ Myth #4: You’ll be happy all the time once you find it.

Many believe that living your calling guarantees joy. But purpose doesn’t erase struggle — it gives it meaning.

A calling will stretch you, test your patience, even lead you through doubt. The path to fulfillment is “long and arduous,” but it’s also what makes life rich and real.

❌ Myth #5: Only top professions count as callings.

Doctor, artist, astronaut, scientist… these are great. But who would keep the world running without builders, caregivers, or clerks?

In reality any job can be a calling. There are no “high” or “low” vocations.

❌ Myth #6: Only a lucky few have one.

This may be the most damaging myth of all. Everyone has a calling.

It may not be glamorous or loud; it may not lead to fame. But everyone has a unique way of contributing to the world that feels both natural and necessary.

The tragedy isn’t that few have one — it’s that few take the time to listen.

❌ Myth #7: Vocation equals job.

This is the most limiting misunderstanding. People often confuse calling with a job description.

Your calling isn’t your job title; it’s what you bring to your work. It goes beyond employment. You don’t lose your calling if you loose your job, retire, or reinvent yourself.

Vocation is how you make your work meaningful, not the work itself.

When You Find It, Everything Changes

Those who find their vocation often describe a profound fulfillment beyond their work. They experience greater resilience in the face of setbacks and a stronger sense of meaning in daily life.

As the saying (often attributed to Confucius) goes: “Choose a job you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.” The point isn’t that you’ll avoid hard work — but that your work will be infused with purpose.

A calling fuels us to live fully, not merely to exist. It transforms routine tasks into acts of meaning. It helps us endure challenges because we know why we do what we do.

And it all begins with a simple but profound question: “Who am I?”

The answer may take months or even years. But the courage to ask it — seriously, persistently, and honestly — is where everything begins.

Questions for Reflection

• What did you love doing as a child or in school?
• What do you enjoy in your current work — and what drains you?
• What dream keeps returning, no matter how much you try to ignore it?
• What fills your thoughts when you’re alone?
• What are you obsessed with? What sparks your imagination?

📄 Download The Chairman’s Playbook Worksheet — Play 08: How to Find Your Calling (Who am I?)

✅ Next up in The Chairman’s Playbook: What’s Preventing Us from Finding or Following Our Calling?

📚 Further Reading — Discovering Your Calling

• Frederick Buechner — Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC
  Defines vocation as “the place where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.
• Joseph Campbell — The Hero with a Thousand Faces
  On the archetypal “hero’s journey” as a metaphor for discovering one’s life purpose.
• Greg McKeown — Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less
  Helps identify what’s truly essential so your energy aligns with your purpose.
• James Hollis — Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
  A profound look at vocation, authenticity, and midlife reinvention. 
• Richard J. Leider & David A. Shapiro — Whistle While You Work: Heeding Your Life’s Calling
  A practical guide to finding purpose and joy in your daily work by aligning it with your true calling.

Disclosure: As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This means that if you click on a link in this post and make a purchase, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you. Your support helps keep The Chairman’s Playbook going, and I’m grateful for it.