“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” — Søren Kierkegaard
Everything we have been through adds layers to who we are. Each stage builds on the last. We grow as we learn from success, failure, risks, and growth.
The Third Element of Vocation
When we think about vocation, we often focus on three elements: our inborn talents, developed skills, and passions. What am I good at? What do I love? But there’s a fourth dimension, which in my definition of vocation is the third element, that deserves equal weight: our lived experiences.
Life has a way of shaping us more than we realize. Every season, whether marked by joy or struggle, leaves behind insights and skills that we carry forward. None of these experiences is wasted; they form a kind of invisible curriculum that continues teaching us long after the moment has passed.
How We Gain Experience
We gather experiences intentionally and unintentionally, usually from three primary sources:
- Direct Action (Doing): Taking risks, trying new things, traveling, working different jobs, starting projects, or simply stepping outside our comfort zone. These moments build resilience and adaptability because we’re learning by doing.
- Observation (Watching & Listening): Watching how others handle situations, whether mentors, leaders, friends, or strangers. Reading, listening to stories, or studying history provides “borrowed” experiences we don’t have to live ourselves.
- Reflection (Processing & Applying): Experience alone doesn’t guarantee growth. It’s reflection that transforms raw events into wisdom by asking: What did I learn? What would I do differently? How can I apply this?
On a personal level, we add to this experience store when we seek new challenges, stay curious, embrace change, and build relationships. People are among the richest sources of new perspectives. Since humans are complex and imperfect, every interaction offers a potential lesson. That’s why staying only within our own “village,” whether literal or metaphorical, can be limiting. The more we travel — across places, cultures, and contexts — the more diverse encounters shape who we are becoming.
Experience as Direction
When seen through the lens of vocation, life experience becomes more than just background. It becomes direction. Sometimes our most profound sense of calling comes not from what excites us in theory, but from what life has already drawn out of us through practice. The teacher who struggled with learning understands students who feel left behind. The leader who has failed understands the value of humility and second chances. The parent who has suffered loss learns how to walk alongside others in grief.
Over time, I’ve realized that experience is not just what happened to me; it’s what I choose to do with what happened. The meaning isn’t in the event itself, but in how I let it shape, teach, and prepare me for what’s next.
Lessons from Guiding
I often think of my journey as a tour guide in my late teens and early twenties. At the time, I saw it mainly as an adventure, but also as a responsibility and an opportunity to help others navigate unfamiliar paths. I didn’t fully realize then how those experiences prepared me for leadership. Being a guide requires attentiveness, courage, and a willingness to put others’ needs first. And leadership, at its core, is no different. A guide is a leader, and a leader is a guide. Those early lessons formed the foundation for my current understanding of vocation and leadership.
Hardship Under Communism
Even the traumatic years I lived through under communism shaped me in ways I couldn’t have predicted. They were painful and often suffocating, but they also taught me resilience, the importance of freedom, and the need for integrity when external pressures demand conformity. Those years added depth to my understanding of human nature, endurance, and the importance of leaders to stand firm during tough times. They also added many nuances to my worldview and made me capable of understanding different ways of thinking.
The Compass of Experience
In this way, experience acts like a compass. It guides us toward where our unique path may lead, not just based on skills or passion but on the hard-earned lessons of real life. It encourages us to see our story as meaningful. The chapters that once felt disconnected start to reveal a pattern. And that pattern can help clarify the work we are meant to do in the world.
Personally, I find this both sobering and hopeful. Sobering because it means vocation isn’t always found in comfort. Many of the most defining experiences are difficult, even painful. But optimistic because it reminds us that nothing is wasted. The things we go through, the transitions we navigate, and the seasons we outgrow all contribute to who we are becoming and the unique work only we can do.
What Has Life Prepared You For?
So when we ask, “What am I called to?” perhaps the question isn’t complete until we also ask: “What has my life already prepared me for?”
Vocation isn’t built on ability alone, or passion in isolation. It’s layered with the wisdom of experience, the silent teacher that shapes us when we’re attentive and even when we’re not.
Questions for Reflection
- Which life experiences — good or bad — have shaped you the most?
- What did each of those experiences teach you about yourself?
- When have you learned something important through observation rather than direct action?
- What role has reflection played in helping you make sense of past experiences?
- How have your travels or encounters with different people expanded your understanding of the world?
📄 Download The Chairman’s Playbook Worksheet — Play 07: Life Experience and Vocation
✅ Next up in The Chairman’s Playbook: How to Find Your Vocation
Further Reading
- Will & Ariel Durant — The Lessons of History
A concise meditation on human experience — how civilizations, like individuals, learn and evolve from challenge. - Parker J. Palmer — Let Your Life Speak: Listening for the Voice of Vocation
An honest reflection on how life’s experiences — both light and dark — reveal the true shape of one’s calling. - Jeff Goins — The Art of Work
Explores how vocation emerges through action, failure, and reflection — rather than sudden revelation. - M. Scott Peck — The Road Less Traveled
A profound exploration of how discipline, love, and growth through pain lead to spiritual maturity. - Viktor E. Frankl — Man’s Search for Meaning
A timeless study of how hardship, suffering, and purpose intertwine to create depth and direction in one’s life.
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